Before surgery, I used to love food and look forward to eating all kinds of yummy things. I had pizza all the time and yummy fast food. I would eat sweets often and in great volume. I would eat when I thought I was “hungry” which I now know was head hunger. I would eat when I was stressed, happy, bored, or for celebrating something. My whole life revolved around going out to dinner as a social setting and I could easily eat an entire meal and go for desserts.
But now my outlook on food is completely different. I know that this relationship with food is going to keep changing until I find the right niche to fit it in. But for now, I hate food. After gastric bypass you are still revolving your life around food. You are constantly planning for your meals whether you are going out, going to work, staying in, anything. We have to eat on a schedule… at least your surgeon and nutritionist tell you to do so… every 3-4 hours. And your number one focus is protein. Protein, protein, protein. I’m sick of protein. Lol.
Food doesn’t sit the same as it used to in your new belly. And it changes from day to day… heck, even meal to meal. All the foods that brought you comfort before are no longer allowed and you have to find comfort in other things. When you finally find something you can eat (that doesn’t get you sick), you can only have a few bites of it. I don’t know about you, but my mind still hasn’t caught up and it loves the taste so it wants more… then comes horrible chest pains with a mixture of dry heaving and the foamies for an hour to 90 minutes. Fun stuff.
I didn’t know how this would work before surgery and wish I did. Does that mean I’d change my mind about having the surgery??? Heck NO! I would still do it in a heartbeat. But I think being more mentally prepared would make the transition much easier. This is a learning process which means lots of trial and error. I’m scared to try new things but I know that if I don’t want to drink protein shakes as all my meals for the rest of my life, I need to start taking more chances. I’m going to do it slowly (and mostly try new things at home – in case I get sick). But it is something everyone should be aware of pre-op.
I’ve actually just found two bloggers posts I follow that express these same kind of emotions. Here they are for a good read. 🙂
- “RANT: I really just hate food now. It doesn’t have the same use for me anymore.” by Gastric Kaleigh
- “Eating. It’s not all it use to be” by WHAT?!!!!? Why?!!!? You Ain’t Even “That Big”