Before surgery, I used to love food and look forward to eating all kinds of yummy things. I had pizza all the time and yummy fast food. I would eat sweets often and in great volume. I would eat when I thought I was “hungry” which I now know was head hunger. I would eat when I was stressed, happy, bored, or for celebrating something. My whole life revolved around going out to dinner as a social setting and I could easily eat an entire meal and go for desserts.
But now my outlook on food is completely different. I know that this relationship with food is going to keep changing until I find the right niche to fit it in. But for now, I hate food. After gastric bypass you are still revolving your life around food. You are constantly planning for your meals whether you are going out, going to work, staying in, anything. We have to eat on a schedule… at least your surgeon and nutritionist tell you to do so… every 3-4 hours. And your number one focus is protein. Protein, protein, protein. I’m sick of protein. Lol.
Food doesn’t sit the same as it used to in your new belly. And it changes from day to day… heck, even meal to meal. All the foods that brought you comfort before are no longer allowed and you have to find comfort in other things. When you finally find something you can eat (that doesn’t get you sick), you can only have a few bites of it. I don’t know about you, but my mind still hasn’t caught up and it loves the taste so it wants more… then comes horrible chest pains with a mixture of dry heaving and the foamies for an hour to 90 minutes. Fun stuff.
I didn’t know how this would work before surgery and wish I did. Does that mean I’d change my mind about having the surgery??? Heck NO! I would still do it in a heartbeat. But I think being more mentally prepared would make the transition much easier. This is a learning process which means lots of trial and error. I’m scared to try new things but I know that if I don’t want to drink protein shakes as all my meals for the rest of my life, I need to start taking more chances. I’m going to do it slowly (and mostly try new things at home – in case I get sick). But it is something everyone should be aware of pre-op.
I’ve actually just found two bloggers posts I follow that express these same kind of emotions. Here they are for a good read. 🙂
I was reading another blog post today (on “Because I deserve to be Happy” by Melissa) and it goes over a topic that we are going to have to deal with over and over and over for the rest of our lives… people telling us that we are taking the easy way out. This infuriates me so much. Read Melissa’s post (here) and let me know what you think?
I think she hits all the topics spot on the head. We all got this surgery as a last resort. We have tried doing all the right things and one way or another they didn’t work for us. Having this surgery is not a light decision. It is a very serious one… One which we have to remember will affect the REST OF OUR LIVES. That’s not an easy choice to make. We will have to give up some of our favorite things forever and work just as hard on exercise. We also have to work on our minds to recondition them for this new lifestyle. We cannot just have a “free day” and eat whatever we want and start over then next day. This new lifestyle will take work, patience, and above all else, dedication.
If someone tells you this is the easy way out, educate them on all you have to go through and why you think it’s worth it. I guarantee you, they will not think it’s so easy after hearing all of that.
Warning… This is OFF TOPIC (OT) and a RANT about malfunctioning technology.
Ok. So something you don’t know about me. I am a web designer for the government. I really enjoy what I do and would love to keep on learning everything I can about it. Throughout the 5 years I’ve been doing this job, I have come to be biased against different web browsers.
For instance… I LOVE Firefox! I’ve been using it for years and almost never have a problem with it. I have found that I HATE Internet Explorer (aka IE, no matter what version it is). It is the quirkiest browser and never displays web pages properly. I wish a comet would come and wipe out all Internet Explorer browsers to become extinct like dinosaurs. Please tell me why Firefox AND Google Chrome work almost all the time and display things consistently? Ugh.
At work we have been having a MASSIVE volume of issues with IE displaying web pages incorrectly and now it seems to be following me home. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I wanted to see if the alignment of an image in my last post was correct on all browsers that I have (Firefox, Google Chrome, and Internet Explorer) and found a whole mess of crap wrong in IE.
Dear Internet Explorer,
I truly hate you. Please go jump off a cliff or get sucked into a black hole, never to be seen or heard from again.