My new relationship… with food

Before surgery, I used to love food and look forward to eating all kinds of yummy things. I had pizza all the time and yummy fast food. I would eat sweets often and in great volume. I would eat when I thought I was “hungry” which I now know was head hunger. I would eat when I was stressed, happy, bored, or for celebrating something. My whole life revolved around going out to dinner as a social setting and I could easily eat an entire meal and go for desserts.

But now my outlook on food is completely different. I know that this relationship with food is going to keep changing until I find the right niche to fit it in. But for now, I hate food. After gastric bypass you are still revolving your life around food. You are constantly planning for your meals whether you are going out, going to work, staying in, anything. We have to eat on a schedule… at least your surgeon and nutritionist tell you to do so… every 3-4 hours. And your number one focus is protein. Protein, protein, protein. I’m sick of protein. Lol.

Food doesn’t sit the same as it used to in your new belly. And it changes from day to day… heck, even meal to meal. All the foods that brought you comfort before are no longer allowed and you have to find comfort in other things. When you finally find something you can eat (that doesn’t get you sick), you can only have a few bites of it. I don’t know about you, but my mind still hasn’t caught up and it loves the taste so it wants more… then comes horrible chest pains with a mixture of dry heaving and the foamies for an hour to 90 minutes. Fun stuff.

I didn’t know how this would work before surgery and wish I did. Does that mean I’d change my mind about having the surgery??? Heck NO! I would still do it in a heartbeat. But I think being more mentally prepared would make the transition much easier. This is a learning process which means lots of trial and error. I’m scared to try new things but I know that if I don’t want to drink protein shakes as all my meals for the rest of my life, I need to start taking more chances. I’m going to do it slowly (and mostly try new things at home – in case I get sick). But it is something everyone should be aware of pre-op.

I’ve actually just found two bloggers posts I follow that express these same kind of emotions. Here they are for a good read. 🙂



2 Weeks Post-Op

Hi everyone! Today is my 2 week surgaversary! I wanted to do a weigh-in update and an overview video of what it’s been like since surgery and what was the surgery process/hospital stay like.

Let’s start with the weigh in!

Highest Weight (Jan 3, 2013): 251.6 lbs

Day of Surgery (Mar 6, 2013): 231.5 lbs

Two Weeks Post-Op (Mar 20, 2013): 220.7 lbs

Eek! That means I’m down 10.8 since surgery and 30.9 lbs total. I was really hoping I’d be out of the 220’s before today but that’s ok. I know I will be for next week’s weigh-in. I’m hoping for a 5 lb loss this week. Cross your fingers for me! I need to stay on top of water, protein, and walking because that seems to be the 3 main triggers to moving the scale.

15 Days of Excitement… Day 1

Eek! Day of surgery! So excited. And kinda nervous. Today’s topic is the number one reason I’m getting gastric bypass surgery.

Day 1: Babies

Baby Boy I have always dreamed of having a family. A loving husband and 3 children. 🙂 I just think 3 is a great number. Well a few years ago when I found out I had PCOS and did some research to fully understand the syndrome. I found that with PCOS, fully developed eggs are not released and can turn into cysts in the ovary. PCOS is one of the major causes infertility in obese women. I did what the doctor said and started a weight loss plan… then another and another. I would lose some, gain more, and lose a little again. In a vicious cycle.

I was scared that I could never have children but knew I wasn’t ready for children anyway (at 23 years old). I’m 26 now and am still not 100% ready but I know I would like to have kids in my early 30s. But to do so, I need to get healthy so that I can carry a child. People with PCOS tend to have many miscarriages and I didn’t want that to be me.

Baby GirlWhen I found out that I could qualify for the surgery and that gastric bypass surgery has resolved infertility caused by PCOS, it was a no-brainer. I knew this is what I have to do to be able to have children and now I’m doing it. Surgery is truly a life changing thing and shouldn’t be taken lightly but I know that this is the best decision for me. Not being able to have children would make me feel horrible… like I cannot perform the most important womanly duty (bearing offspring). But having this wonderful tool to help me get there is just so exciting… and I think it’s the reason I am not afraid to get this surgery. Why I’m not afraid to give up ice cream or fried foods for the rest of my life. It’s because the bigger picture is so much more important to me than all of those bad habits. And I cannot wait to start my journey which begins… today!

Off to surgery now. See you all on the other side!


15 Days of Excitement… Day 2

Day 2: Shopping

Today’s topic kind of ties in with Day 4’s topic of clothing and Day 10’s of shoes but is slightly different. Those days I was concentrating on the objects I get to buy… but today it’s all about the stores. I love shopping now. Ask my roommate, Sarah… she will tell you! Lol.

Even with my love for shopping I have a limited number of places I can actually shop. For clothes I typically go to Torrid or Old Navy because they carry big girl clothes in the actual store so I can try them on instead of randomly ordering them online and praying they fit. But I would still have to do this some time when they didn’t have my size in stock. TWO stores! That is all I buy my clothes from anymore. It is so sad… especially when you walk through the mall and there are a hundred stores, all with beautiful clothing I wish I could buy.

Did I mention the cost? Torrid has really cute clothes but they are by no means cheap. While on the other hand Old Navy has cheap clothes but most of their stuff (mostly the shirts) do not make it through too many wash cycles before getting torn or fuzzy or something else. You get what you pay for, they say. Well I don’t mind shopping at cheaper stores as long as they have cute things. I cannot wait to be able to see a sale in a store like Kohl’s and go buy lot’s of cute clothes… especially on Black Friday!

Being thinner will open a whole new avenue of clothing, shoe, and sport stores where I can shop to my heart’s content… Shhh! Don’t tell Sarah! 😉

Here are some stores I cannot wait to go to. 🙂


Day before surgery update & Weigh in

OMG OMG OMG! Today is the day before surgery!!! 🙂 Within 24 hours I will be starting my whole new life. I’m just so excited! 🙂 I truly cannot believe how fast it came up.

Here’s a little update video with my weigh-in info too.

Today’s weight: 231.5

Down 13.3 lbs since starting the liquid diet and 20.1 lbs since Jan 3rd, 2013! Go me!


15 Days of Excitement… Day 3

Print Holy cow! Today is almost over… That means the day after tomorrow is surgery day!! 🙂 We are supposed to get a “big” snow storm. When I say “big”, for Maryland it’s big. I think I heard someone say something like 5 inches. Most places you would still have to work or go to school for that. But if there is even a threat of snow, schools tend to close around here. I’m just hoping we don’t get enough to postpone my surgery. Or I wish it would come the night after my surgery. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Day 3: Health

Healthy Lifestyle Today’s thing I’m excited for post-op is my health. I’ve been overweight my whole life and obese the last 5-6 years of my life. I’ve always had some kind of health issue along the way. Some were not tired directly into my weight but instead my weight aggravated them. Such as my hay-fever induced asthma. When I was a child, my grandmother had made me a necklace out of my inhaler so I would always have it with me when I needed it. As I got older I didn’t need it as much because during allergy season I would stay inside. But the asthma started bothering me when I exercised at all. The heavier I got, the longer it would take me to feel like I could breathe normally again.

As I grew even older I have found a few other health issues that are caused by weight or at least being overweight is associated with them. Such as PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome) which is one of the leading causes of infertility in obese women. Or insulin resistance and pre-diabetes. I have all of these issues. The last time I went to the doctor they even told me to watch my “bad”‘ cholesterol.

hearthealthy I should have known that I was susceptible to getting all of these things. Many of them are genetic or at least commonly found within the same family whether it be genetic or habitual. My grandmother (on my mom’s side) was diabetic, had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc. Same with my dad. I remember my grandmother giving herself shots of insulin and my dad has to all the time too. My grandmother passed away from a brain aneurysm which I discovered is caused by high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

The only way to cure these things is to lose the weight and keep it off. Through the many different diet programs I have gone through I have never been able to keep the weight off. Many of you may reading this may be the same way. These programs help for short periods of time but often are not sustainable. Only a life-long commitment to eating right and exercise can allow you to achieve this. This surgery will be my tool to get me started then it is all me for the rest of the journey. It is something I’m going to have to fight with everyday for the rest of my life. But I truly believe that with this tool and my great support system (nurses, doctors, family, friends, and the entire WLS (weight loss surgery) community) I can achieve these goals and live a much healthier and happier life.

15 Days of Excitement… Day 4

Day 4: Clothing

Pink Dress I am SO excited for this topic! I love clothing now. I shop at Torrid a lot and absolutely love their clothing which is made for plus size girls. But I cannot wait to wear different types of clothing that didn’t look too appealing beforehand. For example: sleeveless shirts, leggings, bandage dresses, a two piece bathing suit, short skirts, the little black dress, and so much more. I want to wear these and look good in them.

Formal and business attire are so uncomfortable now. All of you know those pants that are buttoned up to your belly button and can be so uncomfortable. When I’m smaller I’m thinking these types of clothing will be much more bearable. I am looking forward to the day when I can wear these and they look and feel good to wear.